Tuesday, 17 December 2013

Statistics

Sometimes you hope that the people who write letters to local papers are joking, and then you start to have the slight suspicion that they are serious.

Take this letter. So, just to be clear, this is a guy in South Shields who thinks that rather than restricting HGVs from the centre of London, instead bikes should be banned. This is based on the dubious logic that all the people killed riding bikes on the roads of the capital were, in fact, riding bikes.

Good work Mr Douglas, you have truly got to the bottom of the problem. Let's look at some other statistics and remember that 100% of people who are stabbed have the knife stuck in some part of their body, so the real problem is with people being allowed bodies, and not just existing as a computer chip, or that 100% again of people who are robbed have something to steal. We should really be banning all possessions.

Also, hang on a sec, but this guy must live in London, right, where the issues would be part of his everyday life, right? I mean it would be stupid if he lived the best part of 300 miles away in the North East wouldn't it? Has he even ever been to London?


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